


'Max' and Willy

by StockyardSyndrome



Series: Inspired by Square Pegs and Round Holes [1]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Feelings Realization, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderbending, Getting Together, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Shapeshifting (kinda), William Nylander worries whether he drank enough respect women juice today, Zach Hyman has a low EQ but he figures it out eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26004475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StockyardSyndrome/pseuds/StockyardSyndrome
Summary: Set in an AU where some people are 'Shifters,' meaning they can shift from having a physically male body to a physically female body and back again, and in fact must do so for vague health reasons. Also, it's a closely guarded secret for government reasons. Zach Hyman is a shifter.See the series notes if you actually want the worldbuilding; this piece is just an excuse to write cute Zach/Willy feelings realization and getting together.
Relationships: Zach Hyman/William Nylander
Series: Inspired by Square Pegs and Round Holes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1887451
Comments: 3
Kudos: 51





	'Max' and Willy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Square Pegs and Round Holes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/2093352) by [Tempore](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tempore/pseuds/Tempore). 



> At some point, you have to stop worrying about whether you portrayed a character's gender with enough sensitivity and just post the damn thing already.
> 
> If you know these people, you should probably not read this or anything else on this site with their names in the list of characters.

Zach DOES NOT need to be shifted to his female form in order to write good children’s books. He wrote  _ The Magician’s Secret _ while in his male body, just to prove that to himself. He then felt annoyed at himself for needing to prove it in the first place, because the idea that women are, like, inherently better with kids and kids’ literature because of hormonal balances or whatever is stupid and he knows it. It’s just that, he really needs to be alone to write. And he definitely needs to be alone while shifted, if he doesn’t want the secret to get out and get arrested for not registering his shifter status with the government. So it just makes sense to kill two birds with one stone. 

It also makes sense that, when he finds himself hit with a bout of writer’s block, he gets up to do a bit of housecleaning to clear his mind. He doesn’t bother shifting back to male when he goes to drop his garbage in the chute down the hall. He lives on a pretty quiet floor, and it’s not more than a few steps there and back. There’s a low chance of him being seen.

He opens the door and runs directly into none other than William Nylander.

“Woah, sorry,” Willy says, reaching a hand out to steady him. A second later, he processes who he’s looking at, frowns in confusion, and visibly leans around to double-check the apartment number on the still-open door. “Uh, is Zach home?”

“No,” answers Zach. 

“Okay... Do you know where he is, or when he’s coming back?”

“He’ll probably be out all day. Do you need him for something?”

“Nah, I was just in the neighborhood and I thought we could hang for a while. He didn’t reply to the text I sent, so I figured I’d just stop by. I’m Will, by the way,” he says, extending his hand for Zach to shake, and then waiting a second for Zach to shift the trash bag to his other hand to return the gesture.

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Zach says, then lets the conversation stall for a second.

“This is usually the part where the other person says their name,” says Will.

“Oh, right,” Zach says, wracking his brain for any plausible women’s name not already taken by a member of his family. “Uh, Max,” he finally blunders out. Guess he’s going to have to come up with a new name for the main character of his next book now.

“Oh, cool. Short for Maxine?” Will asks, clearly trying not to look too suspicious of how long it took this strange woman taking out his friend’s garbage to remember her own name. 

“Yeah, exactly.” 

“Cool. So, uh, I don’t mean to be rude or anything, but why are you here taking out Zach’s trash while he’s not here?” Then an idea clearly hits him, and he smiles a little, which sets Zach even more on edge. “Oh my god, did Hyms hire a cleaning lady?”

Well, this is going to get him chirped. Zach has always prided himself on being one of the few younger guys on the team with enough maturity to clean up after himself. He has, in fact, chirped several of his teammates in the past for having messy homes whenever he comes to visit. He is about to look very hypocritical. 

“Uh, yeah. What else would I be doing here?” 

What else indeed.

“Ha, yeah, good point. Still, I didn’t know Zachy hired somebody. How long have you worked for him?”

“Uh, not too long,” Zach answers. Then, in a fit of inspiration he was beginning to think had all been used up on his writing session earlier, based on the way this interaction was going: “He said he just needs a little help keeping up while he works on his new book. I’m here to help until he’s done with it.”

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense. He’s got hockey and his game company, so he doesn’t exactly have lots of free time. It would be pretty hard to keep up with writing and chores with all that going on.”

“Yeah, exactly.” A few more seconds of awkward silence. “Well, uh, I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

“Oh, right. Thanks. I’ll let you get back to work. Nice meeting you,” Will says with one of his brightest, winningest smiles.

“You too,” Zach replies just a beat too late for normal conversation. Then he turns, dumps the trash bag down the chute, and darts back into his apartment. He only narrowly resists the urge to lean dramatically against his closed apartment door as he sighs in relief. 

He goes to check his phone, which is still on ‘do not disturb’ from his writing session. Sure enough, there are two new texts.

Will: hey, im close to your building. Wanna hang?

Will: if you don’t text back im just coming over

At just that second, a third text comes in.

Will: didnt know you hired a cleaning lady. ; ) Shes cute

Zach may be Jewish and all, but he’s gonna think it anyway: Jesus Christ. He has heard that type of comment before, the few times he went out while in his female form. He usually didn’t like the comments that came after it. He especially doesn’t want to hear them from Willy.

Zach: Please tell me you’re not about to make creepy comments about my housekeeper.

Willy immediately responds with a FaceTime request. Shit. Zach frantically starts stripping off the much smaller clothes he needs in his female form and transitions back to male. He throws on a t-shirt and boxers and reaches out to hit accept just before the phone would have stopped ringing. “He-”

“Dude,” Willy interrupts, looking highly offended, “why would you think I would make creepy comments? You know I wouldn’t be like that.” His frown gets ever deeper, as does the furrow between his brows. “I didn’t hit on her or even flirt with her or anything, you know. I’m not a jerk.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” says Zach. “I was joking. I know you wouldn’t.” Zach doesn’t, in fact,  _ know _ that. He  _ thinks _ that, sure, but then again, he has been burned before by teammates he had previously liked and trusted until they started making lewd, sexist comments. Still, it’s nice to know that even the idea of being a dick to women is this upsetting to Willy, even when there are no women around to be impressed by his chivalry or whatever. It tells Zach that Will probably does actually practice what he preaches. Probably. Hopefully. 

“Well, good. I-- Wait, hang on a second, are you in your room?” Willy asks, looking at the background of Zach’s familiar bedroom furniture. 

Shit. Time for some more lying. Hopefully Zach has gotten better at it in the last four minutes.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, I told, uh, Maxine to tell people I’m not home if somebody shows up when I’m writing. I didn’t check my phone until she said you stopped by, so I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Oh, sorry, didn’t know you were busy today. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No, no, it’s fine. I wasn’t getting much done anyway. Wanna come back up?”

“Are you sure it’s okay? Like, I’m not gonna get in the way of your writing, am I?”

“No, you’re good. I could use a break. Wanna play some Fortnite and get takeout for lunch?”

“Sure. I’ll be right up. See you in a sec.” WIll hangs up.

Zach hurriedly shoves all of his smaller, more feminine-fitted clothing back in his closet. 

Fifteen minutes later, the two of them are settled on the couch, the game is loading, and food is on the way.

“Hey,” Willy asks, “wait, should we have ordered something for Maxine?”

“What?” asks Zach.

“Like, we probably should have gotten her lunch too, since she’s still here. And she’s like, back in your office or your dining room or something right now, right? And those places have, like, so much stuff to dust. She’s gotta have worked up an appetite.”

“Oh, uh, no. Actually, she left already.”

“Wait, really? I didn’t see her leave. And I didn’t even make it out of the lobby. And one of the elevators is broken, so she would’ve had to use the same one I was in. There’s no way I would have missed her.” 

Damn Willy’s oft-underestimated intelligence. “Uhm, I think she took the stairs.”

Now Willy just looks concerned. “We’re on the tenth floor. Who the heck wants to climb down ten flights of stairs right after work?”

“Uh…” Think, Hyman, Think. Dammit, Zach is really going to have to get better at coming up with cover stories. “She’s claustrophobic,” he blurts.

“Oh,” Willy nods, and turns his head back to where the game is starting. “That makes sense.” He still doesn’t look totally satisfied, though.

Sure enough, once most of the food is eaten, Will hesitantly asks, “She wasn’t, like, doing it to avoid me, was she?”

“What?”

“Maxine. Max. We didn’t talk long, but she seemed really uncomfortable. She basically ran back in your apartment as soon as she could. Did she take the stairs to avoid running into me again?” Zach can tell Willy is trying for nonchalance, but for once he’s missing the mark. Since when does Will care whether some random stranger likes him? He’s usually more laid-back than this about social situations with people he doesn’t know well.

“No,” Zach answers slowly. “She didn’t take the stairs because of you. Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to make sure she didn’t think I was creepy or something. I guess, like, you made that joke earlier, and it kinda got in my head.”

“Sorr-” Zach starts, wanting to reassure Willy that he hadn’t meant to imply that ‘Maxine’ had called him creepy (mostly because ‘Maxine’ isn’t even a real person, dammit, how the hell did Zach even get himself into this situation), but Willy keeps right on talking.

“And, like, I don’t  _ think _ I was a creep, right? Like, I didn’t say anything weird or get too close or anything. But do you think she could tell, anyways?”

“Tell what?”

“Just, that I thought she was attractive? Like, it’s not creepy if all I’m doing is being friendly, or like, trying to be friends with someone, even if I have a crush on them?” He’s looking at Zach very intently, and Zach has no idea what to do with that question. 

“Uh, no? I mean, I don’t think so, at least. It might even be kinda… I don’t know, nice, maybe? That you still wanna be friends with someone, even if they don’t feel the same way about them that maybe you would want them to. Like, I’m sure people appreciate that you’re nice to them, and that you’re trying not to cross any lines or anything.” It feels like one of the most ineloquent things Zach has ever said, but he hopes it got the point across. Mostly he just wants to wipe that little frown off of Will’s face.

Willy nods silently for a few minutes. He still looks almost dejected, but a little more relieved, too, Zach thinks. “Oh. Thanks, I guess.”

“Uh, so…” Zach probably shouldn’t ask, but for reasons he can’t really process right now, he’s going to anyway. “ _ Do _ you have a crush on, uh, Maxine?”

“I mean, I don’t know. I definitely wouldn’t call it a crush or anything. We only talked for, like, thirty seconds. It’s just… she’s really cute, you know? Or at least she was once I realized she hadn’t broken into your apartment or something. Like, I kinda just want to get to know her more.”

Zach could feel a lot of ways about his close friend being unknowingly attracted to his female form, but sad and pleased and also kind of jealous are not at all what he would’ve expected his reaction to be. And yet...

Will gives another unreadable, somewhat conflicted look down into his empty takeout container and then sits up from his reclined position on the couch. “Uh, anyway, I should probably head home. I had some more stuff I was gonna do before dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, see you at practice,” Zach says, and he still feels weird enough that he’s glad for some time to himself this evening. Maybe if he takes some time to think about it, his feelings will start making some damn sense.

* * *

When Zach tries to figure out his emotions, he goes about it as logically as possible. So he goes in order, breaking them down in order from simplest to most complicated, and tries to list the reasons for each one. 

He starts with feeling pleased. That one’s pretty easy. He doesn’t feel really safe in his female form around anyone outside of his immediate family, so he very rarely goes out or lets anyone see that form. So to know that someone like Will has seen that part of him and thought he was attractive… It was a kind of praise he isn’t used to. It’s always flattering to be found attractive, when it’s expressed with respect the way Will did. Will thought ‘Maxine’ was cute AND respected her enough to worry about whether he had crossed any lines or made her feel comfortable. That was undeniably a nice feeling.

Feeling sad doesn’t make any sense at all. It would if Will had actually been creepy; finding out that a close friend was actually a jerk would be very sad indeed. But Will had been totally respectful. Will had seemed upset, though, and Zach still doesn’t understand why. Maybe he’s just sad that he can’t understand how to help Will with whatever he seemed upset about today?

That doesn’t feel quite right either. He’s not making much headway, here. Zach sets sadness aside before it drives him completely nuts.

He examines feeling jealous next, which is equally confusing. The only person to feel jealous of in this scenario is ‘Maxine,’ who doesn’t really exist. Or, who does exist, but is really just him. And he can’t be jealous of himself. But maybe he can be jealous of a fake person. But what is there to be jealous of? Will’s attention? Will talked to ‘Maxine’ for all of two minutes. He played video games with Zach all afternoon. Is he jealous that Will found female-him attractive? But female-him is still him. It’s still a form of his body he’s comfortable with, and sometimes even proud of, even if it’s not the form he would rather be in most of the time. 

Is he jealous because he wants Will to find his male form attractive too?

Somewhere in the depths of Zach’s brain, or maybe his heart, something yells  _ Yes! Yes, you want that! _ Hm. Why would he want that?

...

_ Oh.  _

Huh.

With one epiphany under his belt for the night, Zach supposes he should revisit sadness. It’s a lot easier this time. Realizing that the guy he’s in l-, in something with, is only attracted to the form that doesn’t best represent him, and is probably only interested because he doesn’t know that it’s  _ Zach’s _ personality still living behind that different face--. Well. Yeah. That would make him sad.

Fuck.

* * *

Things with Will have mostly gone back to normal a few weeks later. Or at least outwardly they have. Zach still hasn’t used the L-word to describe his feelings for Will, even in the privacy of his own head. He’s still feeling his fair share of emotional turmoil whenever he thinks about spending time with Will one-on-one, but he thinks he’s done a pretty good job of acting appropriately casual and platonically affectionate when they are together at team events and practices, and he hasn’t, like, masturbated to thoughts of Will or cried himself to sleep thinking about Will’s smile or anything. Yet. 

Will seems like he’s keeping his distance, but he’s not exactly avoiding Zach either. He just hasn’t dropped by Zach’s apartment to play video games and hang out like he usually would. Zach is decidedly not listening to the part of his brain that is worried about what that means and instead is focusing on the part that is grateful not to have to face his aforementioned emotional turmoil.

So when WIll texts him the morning of their off-day after a three-day roadie, asking if he has plans for that afternoon, his first response is to continue to put off that emotional self-confrontation for as long as possible. Plus, he genuinely did have plans to do more house-cleaning today, since he’s gotten a bit behind on chores, and he kind of needs another day in his shifted form, because he didn’t manage to find time for it last week and three weeks is his loose limit for how long he can go without shifting before he starts to feel unstable. He doesn’t want to let himself get even close to that point.

Zach: Sorry, I really just need a day to focus on writing. Maybe another time?

Will: yeah for sure. No worries

So Zach shifts and pulls on his sports bra and basketball shorts and starts his chores. Anytime he gets tired, he sits down and edits another paragraph from the chapter he wrote a few days ago. This pattern works until about noon, when he would normally be eating lunch and is starting to feel hungry. He reaches for the handle of the fridge, thinking he’ll finish up the cold cuts and cheese he had bought a week or so ago, before realizing he hadn’t thought to check on them and make sure they were still good before he left for their last road game.

He opens the deli drawer and barely takes one whiff before pushing all of its contents into a plastic grocery sack, which he ties off and takes directly to the trash chute. 

He doesn’t turn around when he hears the elevator ding. In fact, he busies himself by admiring the potted plant in the corner next to the garbage chute so that he doesn’t have to turn around and be seen by whichever neighbor he can hear stepping off of it. His female face doesn’t look dramatically like his male face, but there are definite similarities if you look long enough, and he doesn’t want to risk someone recognizing that and making the connection. He also doesn’t want to have to make up some lie about being the new neighbor if they don’t recognize him, either. He just has to hope they don’t pay any attention to him before they get into their own apartment and Zach can duck back into his.

“Oh, hey!” calls a familiar voice. “Maxine, right? Or, sorry, do you prefer Max?” 

“Oh, uh. Max is good,” Zach answers, turning around. He figures he’ll have an easier time remembering to respond to the version that sounds more like his actual name. “What are you doing here?”

Willy holds up a bag of Chipotle takeout. “Zach said he was gonna be writing all day, so I figured maybe I could stop by and get him to take a break to eat lunch with me before he gets back to work. I’m just gonna go set this out in the kitchen, kay?” he says, shouldering open Zach’s front door and slipping through it without waiting for an answer. “Hey, Zach!” he calls into the empty apartment.

“Um, wait,” Zach says, rushing through the door after him. By that point, though, Will has already reached the open door displaying Zach’s empty office. Across from that, another open door displays Zach’s equally empty bedroom. “Uh, he’s not here right now,” Zach says, quickly trying to come up with another excuse. “He, um, one of his brothers stopped by and they went out to lunch together.”

“Oh,” Willy says, and Zach knows he isn’t imagining the disappointment in his voice. “Yeah, sorry, I should’ve asked first. I mean, he already told me he was gonna be busy today, I just hoped he could make a little time, ‘cause Kas has been out a lot with his new girlfriend and Matts and Marns have been kinda wrapped up each other lately, so I was just getting kinda bored.”

By ‘kinda bored,’ Zach is pretty sure he means very lonely. Will gets lonely way more often than he will ever admit, and Zach is suddenly desperate to help ease that in any way he can. Plus, he’s already here, with food, and Zach is pretty hungry. 

“Well, I mean, I haven’t eaten yet,” Zach says. “Wanna eat with me?” 

Will is silent for a second before he gives her a little smile, closed-mouthed but still so warm. Zach has to make a real concerted effort not to melt a little.

“Sure. You like burrito bowls?”

* * *

“So,” Zach begins faux-casually, resting his elbow on his kitchen island counter. “I haven’t seen you around lately. Been busy?” 

Willy holds up his index finger and finishes swallowing the bite in his mouth before he answers. “Uh, kinda. And, I mean. I dunno. We had kind of an awkward conversation last time we hung out, and he’s been a little weird ever since, so I tried to give him some space. But then I realized that I had maybe kinda stopped being a good friend by doing that, so I figured I should try and start hanging out with him again. To just try and go back to normal.” 

“Oh.” Zach, once again, feels a little out of his depth. He hadn’t realized he was treating Will any differently. “Well, uh, if it helps, it didn’t really seem like he was mad at you or anything. I don’t think he thought you were really being a bad friend.”

Willy pushes his food around his bowl and doesn’t look back up. “Yeah, I hope not. I don’t really wanna talk about it right now though.” An awkward beat of silence falls, and Will finally looks up and makes eye contact again. “So, what do you do? Like, aside from helping Zach clean his house.”

“Oh, well, not too much. Some freelancing and stuff.”

“Really? What kind of freelancing?”

“Uh, some game design.”

“Oh, wow, that’s so cool. You know Zach has a gaming company, right? Does he know you’re a designer?”

“Oh, yeah, that’s kinda how we met, y’know. Just ‘cause we’re sort of in the same community, run in some of the same circles. And when he mentioned he was looking for a housekeeper he could trust, I told him I’d been looking to make a little extra cash.” 

“So you two have known each other a while?”

“Uh, yeah, long time.”

“Do you remember the first time you met?”

“Yeah, his brother tripped over me at a gaming tournament and kinda knocked me down. Zach helped me up and dragged him back over to apologize to me.” 

“Really?” Willy laughed.

“Yeah, it was kinda funny.” It was also kind of true. Zach had once taken Oliver to a tournament with him, and Ollie had, in fact, run right into a game developer who had been in attendance and knocked her off balance. Once Zach pulled her back to her feet, she chuckled a little at Ollie’s sheepish apology and waved it off. They now made sure to say hello to each other on the rare occasions they happened to show up to the same gaming events. They hadn’t exactly kept in touch, though.

“Oh, my God, I could totally see Ollie or Cooper doing that. Or maybe even Spencer. Which one was it?” 

“Ollie. Though, yeah, it seems like all of his little brothers do stuff like that sometimes.”

“I think it might be a little sibling thing, to be honest. My baby sister once ran straight into an old lady at the grocery store and totally knocked her over. It was so hard not to laugh.”

“My brother did that once too,” Zach laughs. 

“Really? Is he older or younger?”

Zach squints and it genuinely takes him a moment to remember that while Will has met practically the entire Hyman clan by now, he’s not asking about Zach’s family, he’s asking about ‘Max’s.’ They were just starting to get back into a familiar rhythm of conversation, and already he’s been pulled back out of it. He’s going to have to be careful not to get too comfortable again.

“Younger. I actually have four younger brothers.”

“Ha, so does Zach. No wonder you two get along.”

“Yeah, we have a lot in common. What about you?” Zach asks, even though he has met every one of Willy’s siblings and knows their names, ages, and birthdays, as well as having seen firsthand how much Will loves each and every one of them. Zach’s chest goes a little tight at the memory of seeing them all last Christmas, when he had been one of the few people who didn’t have plans for Christmas eve and had volunteered to help shuttle all five Nylander siblings plus both parents and a few assorted aunts, uncles, and cousins to the house Willy still shares with Kappy, despite no longer being on his ELC.Willy’s mom had given Zach a big thank-you hug for helping to give their family a ride, and over her shoulder Zach vividly remembered seeing Steph and Dani clinging to Will, and him clinging right back. He suppressed a smile at the memory of the look on Will’s face as he did so.

It’s maybe no wonder Zach developed feelings for him, after seeing him hold two adorable children with his affection for them plainly written all over his face.

Will smiles again, that huge, bright grin that always makes Zach smile back a little helplessly. “One big sister, one little brother, then three more baby sisters. They’re all pretty great.”

“Yeah? Wanna tell me about them?”

“Do I ever!” Willy laughs.

They spend the rest of their lunch trading stories about their families, friends and lives. Zach has already heard most of the ones Will tells to ‘Max,’ but he loves hearing them again anyways. He’s also quietly pleased with how many of Will’s stories are about him. He’s careful not to repeat any of the stories he’s already told Willy about his own family, and sometimes he changes details or leaves things out so it won’t be too obvious, but for the most part it’s comfortable and easy, just like it has been between them since they were on the Marlies together. Zach has missed this, these past few weeks, but he’s only just realizing how deeply he had wanted to spend time alone with Will like this, talking about anything and nothing and everything, now that he has it back. He also kind of wants to move this to the couch so he can do it with Will’s arm wrapped snugly around his shoulder, but somehow that doesn’t seem like the best idea right now.

They only stop talking when Will glances at the clock on the stove and realizes that it’s been three hours.

“Oh, jeez, sorry, you probably need to get back to work, huh?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. It’s really nice talking with you.” Zach really doesn’t want to stop talking, actually, but Will is already standing up.

“Yeah, you too,” he replies, sweeping the crumbs from the counter into his empty bowl, then dropping it all into the trash can. Then he hesitates for a moment, giving Zach an intense, indecipherable look. 

“What?” Zach prompts, a little unnerved.

“Um, I don’t wanna be, like… like, you can totally say no, and there’ll be no hard feelings or anything, but, do you wanna get lunch with me sometime?”

“Wha… like, a date?”

“If you want, yeah.”

Zach really, really wants to say yes. He wants to go on a date with Will. He wants to go get lunch with him every day, and then go have dinner with him and go on other dates with him when their schedule allows. He wants to keep hanging out the way they always have but more often and he wants to add in holding Will’s hand and making out with him and falling asleep next to him.

But Willy is only asking for a date. With someone he thinks is cute, but has still only seen a grand total of twice. 

With someone he thinks is a cute  _ girl. _ Which Zach is not.

“You wouldn’t be asking me that if I weren’t a woman, would you.” Zach says, phrased like a question but not sounding like one.

“... What?” asks Will, clearly taken off guard.

“I don’t know. Just, like, if I were a guy you wouldn’t be into me.” 

Will is staring at him, a deep furrow between his brows like he has no idea what’s going on in this conversation. That’s fair, Zach thinks. He doesn’t really know where he’s going with this either. 

“Is… Is this about Zach?” Will asks slowly.

Zach blinks. “I… maybe?”

Will swallows visibly and takes a deep breath. “It’s not… I’m not gonna pretend I’m over Zach, ‘cause you can probably tell I’m not. But, I mean, obviously I never made a move. You’re probably thinking it’s because I don’t wanna come out as bi, right?” That’s not what Zach though at all, but he nods anyway because he has no idea what else to do. He’s still processing the part where Will is ‘not over’ him, which… What?

But Will doesn’t give him much time to consider that; he just goes right on talking. “It’s not really about that. I mean, I don’t wanna come out just for the sake of coming out, but I’ll come out if I’m dating someone I like, and we decide we don’t wanna hide. So the only reason I never made a move with Zach is ‘cause he was just. Really not interested. That’s actually what our awkward conversation was about, a few weeks ago. He basically told me he wanted to stay friends but didn’t feel the same, and appreciated that I hadn’t crossed any lines. Like, I already kinda knew that, but that confirmed it. So I just figured… you seem really nice, and maybe I could get over him if I tried to fall in love with someone else instead. So if you’re saying you’re, like, trans or genderqueer or whatever, that’s fine. Like, if you were, and whether or not you wanted to be out, that wouldn’t affect whether or not I wanted to date you.”

“You… hold on…” Zach says, trying to buy himself a few more seconds to catch up. “You… you were in love with… with Zach. You’re  _ still in love. _ With Zach. You want to date me  _ specifically because you’re still in love with Zach. _ And you think  _ he _ isn’t interested in  _ you _ . I… am I understanding this right?” he asks, bewildered.

Will, on the other hand, suddenly looks guilty and a little crushed. “Yeah, that’s… that’s really shitty of me, isn’t it? God, I’m so sorry. I should… I’m just gonna go…” he says, already on his way towards the front door.

“Wait, hang on! Will, wait!” Zach calls, moving around the kitchen island to try and stop him, but Will rushes through the front door and throws it shut behind him. Zach gets it open again just in time to see the elevator doors close with Will behind them, his hands covering his face.

* * *

By the time Zach gets back into his apartment, shifts, and gets back into his male-fitted clothing, he knows Willy will already be halfway back to to his place to curl up on his couch with Kappy and pretend he’s not crying, but it isn’t like Zach doesn’t know where he lives. And this is something he has to do as himself, fully himself, and in a way that Will can immediately recognize as coming wholeheartedly from Zach. ‘Maxine’ showing up on Will’s doorstep would probably just make things worse. 

When Zach pulls up to Will and Kappy’s place and knocks, it’s Kappy’s girlfriend who opens the door. She’s wearing a nice dress, short but classy, and her hair is neatly styled. “Thank God,” she says, stepping aside to let Zach through. “Go give Willy a hug or something. He seems pretty upset.”

As Zach climbs the stairs leading to Willy’s bedroom, he can hear voices drifting down the hall. 

“You can just go. You’re gonna miss your reservation. I’ll be fine,” Willy says, a little muffled. 

“Dude, I’m not just gonna leave when you won’t even tell me what happened. We can reschedule the reservation, just tell me what’s wrong,” Kappy replies. 

“It’s nothing, Kas. I’ll be fine. Go on your date with your girlfriend.”

Before Kasperi can argue with that, Zach knocks lightly on the doorframe leading into Willy’s bedroom. 

“Hey, Kap. Will, can we talk?” he says. 

“... yeah,” answers Will, sitting up from where he had flopped down onto his bed. 

“Uh, should I leave you guys alone?” asks Kasperi. 

“Yes, please,” answers Zach, but Kappy is still looking at Willy. 

“Yeah. I’ll see you later tonight, okay?” says Willy. 

With a nod to Will and a pointed look in Zach’s direction, Kasperi leaves and shuts Will’s bedroom door behind him. 

“If this is about Max-”

“I thought you were straight,” Zach interrupts before Will can say anything more.

“... What?”

“I thought you were straight. As in only liking women. Which I am not.”

Will’s brow is furrowed in confusion. “Uh, no?”

“So you can see how it may not have occurred to me before today. That you might be in love with me.”

“I-, Zach-” Will stutters, off-balance, blue eyes wide open. 

“But it’s kind of a good thing, because I was kinda sad when I thought you were straight. Because I realized that maybe I feel the same way. I mean, not that I’m straight, but that I  _ am  _ interested in you. Romantically. I think I love you too, is what I’m saying.” 

“You… think?” 

“I mean… pretty sure, yeah.”

“Oh, you’re pretty sure you love me back. Okay then,” Will says, that golden, glowing smile slowly creeping over his face.

“Shut up. You know what I mean,” Zach says, grinning back and knowing he could never do anything else in the face of that warm glow.

“Aren’t you supposed to be good with words?” Will asks, standing up and taking a step closer to Zach.

Zach doesn’t bother replying, just closes the gap between them.

* * *

Zach is halfway to dozing, curled up in Will’s bed, Will himself wrapped securely in Zach’s arms, when Will asks, “So, if you didn’t know I liked you, then what was that ‘appreciate you being friendly and not crossing boundaries’ stuff before?”

“I didn’t realize you were talking about  _ me _ . It just seemed like you were worried about what Maxine thought about you. I wanted to make you feel better.”

Will sits up out of Zach’s arms to sit against his headboard, and Zach reluctantly follows him up. He doesn’t really want to pull himself out of the dreamy, cuddly, post-makeout, puppy-love state the two had been basking in, but this conversation is probably going to be important.

“Well, if she didn’t think I was a creep before, she definitely does now. Did she tell you about… everything?” Will asks apprehensively.

“Uh, kinda.”

“Oh. Well, don’t worry, I’m gonna apologize next time I see her. I know that was a really dick move.”

“Um, actually,” Zach says, “I’m probably the one who owes you an apology. For lying.”

“What?” Will asks, turning himself to more fully face Zach, who is struggling to make eye contact. 

Zach takes a slow breath before locking his eyes back onto Will’s. “Maxine isn’t an actual person. That was me.”

Will’s shapely eyebrows shoot up, but he doesn’t say anything.

“I’m a shifter,” admits Zach. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but it’s a really big secret and it’s not like I don’t trust you, obviously I do, because I’m telling you now, but you caught me off guard when you showed up and saw me while I was shifted and I almost never tell anyone unless I have to-”

“Can I see?” asks Will.

Zach blinks back at him, grateful that Will cut off his babbling before he really got going.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want,” Will says, mostly casual. “I just want…”

“Okay,” Zach says. Then he closes his eyes and shifts.

When he opens his eyes again, he has to look up to meet Will’s eyes again. It’s kind of nice. 

Will is studying him, saying nothing.

“Um, hi,” says Zach, self-consciously reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. 

“Oh,” says Will. “It really is you.” He leans closer to Zach, reaching out to cup his face. “Can I…?”

Zach nods.

Kissing in his female body is a little different than kissing in his male body. He’s still kissing Will, though, so it’s pretty great either way. Pretty soon, though, they have to break it because Will is smiling too hard. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he says, running his hand through Zach’s hair. “I knew there was something I liked about her. Turns out, I liked that she was  _ you _ .” 

Zach breathes a laugh as he pulls Will down into another kiss, and then on top of him on the bed.

* * *

A few minutes later, Willy’s phone buzzes.

“Kas wants to know how I’m doing,” he says, beginning to type out a reply.

“Tell him he should spend the night at his girlfriend’s place,” says Zach, shifting back to his larger male form to give himself every advantage in plastering Will back to the mattress. 

“He’s gonna want details about how we finally got our act together,” says Will, tossing his phone back on the nightstand and letting himself be pinned in place. 

“Tomorrow,” Zach says, reaching for the waistband of Will’s boxers.

“Tomorrow,” Will agrees with his typical shining smile, and the little hitch in his breath as he does so makes Zach feel like he’s glowing right back.

**Author's Note:**

> Probably going to to more with this AU, but most likely with different pairings. IDK yet.
> 
> Need a tag? Need to have a serious talk about my representations of gender? Need to yell because playoffs were/are stressful? Comments are open, I promise nothing you say will hurt my feelings.


End file.
